Boss told us we weren’t bloggin’ enough about time being a flat squirrel, so we went out and bought some toilet paper.
"Really: Why are people always crying in New York? Is it that they are hungry? I honestly do see this out there more than I do in Chicago.”
"There are more people here. It’s a numbers game."
"No, it’s that everyone has roommates and somehow crying in front of a subway car full of strangers seems less horrible than crying in front of your roommate. People here can afford to live alone, you can get a nice place in a good neighborhood for $800, easy."
"But you’re in Chicago."
Yeah, you’ve got to be pretty serious about what you want out of life when you don’t know what’s going to happen the next day. Some days, brushing my teeth was like, “When’s the applause track going to happen?” I was like, I wish there was an audience standing here watching me make it to the bathroom on two legs. I felt like I’d just run a marathon. I was like, “I’m amazing!” There were times when I couldn’t say three sentences without slurring or saying the wrong words. So to be able to now do an interview with you and sounding, I hope, semi-coherent, and to be in the position where I’ve played a couple shows, it’s like I’ve been given my life back. How could I not have changed? It made me realize what a fuckin’ dick I was before. Not in every way of my life, but I didn’t understand what people with invisible illnesses go through every day. Just because somebody doesn’t have a cast on their arm doesn’t mean that they are not dealing with serious illness. Invisible illness is especially insidious because people are like, “You look great.” Before I got diagnosed, I was trying all these weird diets to see if I was allergic to something or if I had Crohn’s disease and I lost a huge amount of weight. Everyone was telling me how great I looked. I remember one day somebody telling me that I was like, “You know what, I’m so skinny because I’m really, really sick, not because I want to be.” They just turned and walked away. I know weight plays such a huge factor in the way people relate to women, but that really showed me. How many people told me how good I looked when I was emaciated? I was like, “Wow.”
My dad, my hero, as Fidel Castro at the University of Maryland in 1961. Chesapeake Bay of Pigs.
I imagine us in a retirement home one day, in rocking chairs, just saying “Hitler” and “9/11” back and forth to each other.