Brian Van’s comment on Katie’s Troop Beverly Hills post deserves a Tumblr promotion, at least for the effort.
Somewhere in an alternate universe, Jenny Lewis kicks herself for not working at Goldman Sachs.
Actually, in this universe, everyone who doesn’t work at Goldman kicks themselves.
Anyway, let’s discuss irrational jealousy against child actors. That last sentence is all the discussion you need for that topic. But I sympathize, I do! For one thing, there’s not a single male in that generational-cusp preteen timeframe that didn’t think to themselves, “Well, I could look like a cute young boy and play SMB3 and kiss a cute young redhead girl just as well as Fred Savage”. It was infuriating because girls didn’t seek out boys like that, ever. There were many cute boys playing their NES systems at home, while (as we would learn eventually) all the girls our age were busy giving BJs to the high school boys. (Note to brace-faces of today: stick to handjobs, you’re probably better at it and they’re less likely to be painful for both participants) There was no point in being jealous. But let’s face it: we felt lonely and ambitious, and those are valid and precious emotions.
Jealousy was usually reserved, though, for those ridiculous kids who would end up on morning talk shows with some sort of “adult” accomplishment because their parents funded whatever interest they had. Most annoying were the kids who had something to do with making movies; they always treated them as if they were the most precocious things ever, when in reality they basically were just lucky enough to have rich parents. This continued through the end of high school, when I embarrassed myself my making a snide commment about the luxurious resources at Northern Valley Old Tappan Regional High School, unknowingly in front of the principal of NVOT. (Whoops!) They were rumored to even have a planetarium as part of their school. Our public HS had broken band instruments and rancid school lunches; apparently, our menu choices were strictly limited to what the government could afford to give away to illegal immigrants. How could you not be jealous? Somewhere, someone was doing something interesting and being treated with great respect and love for it, while I was always broke and I was surrounded by people who despised me for being intelligent. (This is why I had a relatively easy time in jail some weeks ago. I was trained well)
Oh, why the hell am I talking about this on Krucoff’s blog? He’s from Crofton. He takes cabs to work. He’s the enemy! Snarl, hiss, eat the rich, etc. And I mean that ironically, as I’m old enough now to know that it’s hardly anyone’s fault that they took advantages that they had available, just like I have done. I’ll now go grab Gladwell’s new book and stew in the corner.
Also, I’d fuck Jenny Lewis.