Fan Fiction: Moses Paltrow Martin’s Bar Mitzvah
Gwyneth Paltrow recently expressed her intent to raise her two children up all Jewish and stuff. Mazel tov! This decision is evidently the result of some things Gwyn found out after appearing on the celeb family tree show Who Do You Think You Are? (reality TV’s how most spiritual awakenings come to pass, right?), where GP learned she’s descended from a long line of rabbis. Handsome, blonde rabbis, we assume. Although Gwyneth has described herself as Spiritual But Not Religious ™, she’s apparently decided to embrace the faith for the sake of Moses and Apple (has Apple’s middle named been changed to Honey yet?).
YM always takes the Jew bait.