1001 Rules for Your Teenager

#7: As soon as you get a driver’s license, get a pizza delivery job. It will be the greatest job you will ever have. Sadly.

7a. Work on New Year’s Eve. You will get tipped in beer, weed and women flashing you.

1001 Rules for Your Teenager

#6: People don’t really spit on each others genitals in real life.

1001 Rules for Your Teenager

#5: For chrissakes don’t major in something you’d do for free.

1001 Rules for Your Teenager

#4: Never read the whole book. Become proficient at dissecting a single scene and write a paper on that.

1001 Rules for Your Teenager

#3: Smoking is the best way to meet people.

1001 Rules for Your Teenager

#2: When shoplifting, never try to hide the item. Just walk right out with it in clear view like nothing is wrong.

1001 Rules for Your Teenager

#1: Never buy Ecstasy from a straight person. Never buy weed from a gay person.

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